Funny Quotes About the White House

FUNNY WHITE HOUSE QUOTES

You've arrived in GP's West Wing—The Humorous White House Quotations Mini-Library—so relax your presidential brain for a few minutes with these funny White House quotes.

PAGE INDEX GENERAL FROM FORMER PRESIDENTS FROM FORMER PRESIDENTIAL STAFFERS Related Stuff,  Send Me a Quote

GENERAL

"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves." "Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.' " — Craig Kilborn "The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, 'You know what? Let's just grab lunch.' " — Bill Maher "We suffer most when the White House busts with ideas." — H.L. Mencken "I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House." — Bob Hope "As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." — H. L. Mencken QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the United States Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House; in the House of Representatives, of the Speaker and the devil. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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FROM FORMER PRESIDENTS

"The White House is the finest prison in the world." — Harry S. Truman "Since I came to the White House, I got two hearing aids, a colon operation, skin cancer, a prostate operation, and I was shot. The damn thing is, I've never felt better in my life." — Ronald Reagan "I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered at the White House—with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone." — John F. Kennedy

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FROM FORMER PRESIDENTIAL STAFFERS

"I have no idea what White House statement was issued, but I stand by it 100 percent." — Richard Darman, Former Reagan budget director "When your mission is to restore honor and integrity to the White House, you've got to be willing to use any means necessary." — Paul Begala, former advisor to Bill Clinton "You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt." — Ed Meese, former U.S. Attorney General under Reagan, on the Hinckley verdict

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COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF SIMILAR CATEGORIES Funny Congress Quotes Funny Constitution Quotes Funny Campaign Quotes Funny Military Quotes Funny Environmental Quotes Funny Quote subject list Jokes/Cartoons (General) PASS 'EM ON! Do you know someone who would like these funny quotes about The White House? Please  forward to them. SEND ME A FUNNY WHITE HOUSE QUOTE If you know of a funny White House quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

AUDIO CLIPS FINANCIAL, EMPIRE & ELITES CATEGORY:  HISTORY, FINANCIAL — 14.FEB.2015 Peak Prosperity Either We Break the Bankster Alliances or They Will Break Us — Nomi Prins reviews the historical circumstances that led to the formation of the big-bank-controlled Federal Reserve; that is, how the financial foxes were put in charge of the public's hen house. She then explains how many rich US elites in the late 1800s/early 1900s thought that keeping money flowing and not being too draconian helped the masses, which in turn helped the elites maintain the system that provided the wealth. But some bankers were not of a mind to play the game this way, and Louis Brandeis warned: "We must break the Money Trust or the Money Trust will break us." Nomi Prins says we are headed into a new era of high banker mischief, vast income gaps, and reckless behavior among leaders and elites. She says we must take heed of Brandeis' warning and take down the banker-corporate-politician-industrial complex. Go to page  |  Download/listen   52:45 Original Show Pub Date: 31.Jan.2015 CATEGORY:  MEDIA, EMPIRE — 13.FEB.2015 Democracy Now Endless War, Endless War Spin — As Obama talks about a new major cycle of the war on terror—this time against the Islamic State—Norman Solomon of the Institute for Public Accuracy says Obama talks about not being interested in "endless war" but is doing more than any previous president to engage the US in exactly that. Solomon also says Brain Williams' worst lies about war were not his exaggerations of his personal experiences reporting from danger zones but rather his parroting the war propaganda of both the Bush and Obama administrations and his failure to challenge any aspect of the corrupt endless-war agenda. Of course, all the big names in media did the same. Finally, Solomon talks about the case of CIA whistleblower Jeffrey Sterling, who has been persecuted for exposing a dodgy CIA operation to the Senate Intelligence Committee. Watch A  |  Watch B  |  Watch C Download/listen   17:18 Original Show Pub Date: 12.Feb.2015 ~~ Original story titles ... Endless War? Obama Sends Congress Expansive Anti-ISIS Measure 6 Months After Bombing Began ~~ Brian Williams Suspended for False Iraq Tale, But Media's Real Scandal is the War Lies Spun Daily ~~ Was Jeffrey Sterling Trial a Gov't Effort to Divide Investigative Journalists & Whistleblowers? CATEGORY:  EMPIRE — 11.FEB.2015 Uprising Understanding the Roots of Terrorism—Theirs and Ours — Much of President Obama's record-breaking defense budget proposal will fund proxy wars around the globe. The US is training and arming Sunni tribal groups in Iraq to fight ISIS, and it may soon begin supplying weapons to the Ukrainian military against Russia. Drone strikes continue to take their toll in Yemen and elsewhere. Meanwhile, a jingoistic film called �American Sniper� glorifies killing and demonizes Muslims with virtually no historical context. Chris Hedges says most Americans accept the myth of American rightness and do-goodism while ignoring the obvious parallels in the terrorism practiced by the US and the terrorism practiced by ISIS and their ilk. He says the empire is not only busy abroad but is also quietly pre-positioning suppressive-force capabilities on the home front, in preparation for the inevitable pushback from the masses as their impoverishment worsens. Go to page  |  Download/listen   27:32 Original Show Pub Date: 09.Feb.2015 MORE Get more audio clips on the predatory financial system, empire, and political minions of the elites (and many other subjects) in Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

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